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Sunday, 20 February 2011

Beware of the empty seat

It must have been a few months ago whilst going to work, I don't know why but I always take the tube. The only thing great about the British tube system is the wonderfully well designed map!!! If only they spent a bit more 'time' on that important factor being on 'time'.
      Anyway as I got on I was amazed to see an empty chair, I felt an OVERWHELMING rush of  ecstasy flow over my un-woken body,' It can't be' I thought. As I headed towards the seat like Icarus, I sat done and in-haled with relief. Then the burning feeling in the back of my throat happened, as if I had just eaten a chilli ridden turd. Oh everything now made perfect sense. The fact that there was an empty seat, why the passengers looked shocked when I rushed towards the seat and the fact there were so many people standing (none with white canes). I was sitting next to a Tramp, a very vintage smelling one.
      However being a good person I did not get up and leave, imagine how upset he would have felt, if he was aware. The tramp was probably so high on glue he was most likely travelling via dimensions, mainly the fifth. Anyway for the next 4 stops I in-haled/ex-haled twice and got off. So the next time a tramp asks for money, give him a few conditions........1. buy some food with it  and 2. Do not use it for the tubes, get a f!**king bus instead!!!

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