It was a lovely summer day in our estate, the sun massaged the grey roads with an ambient orange warmth. Whilst the slight breeze in the air tickled the leaves on the trees into a relaxed trance. Everything appeared to be in harmony. The neighbours were out maintaining their prized gardens and the repetitive flickering of the many sprinklers appeared to synchronise into a sustained melody. It was as if 'Peace' had decided to rest in our village for a couple of hours.
However, 'Peace' may have arrived quickly but it also left in a hurry due to its fear of bored children. I would have been 8yrs old and ran out the house like a charging buffallo onto the road. Deciding what wall to kick my tattered ball at, once the decision was made all harmony literally flew away. Bang, bang, bang, bang now echoed through the neighbours ears. Even with their distaste-ful looks I carried on because lets be honest what did they know, I was playing as Scotland and was about to beat Brazil 10-0....Idiots I thought. Then a couple of friends came across and we started the usual boys chat like... ' what you doing?', ' found a cool stick the other day', ' Whats fore-play....isn't that a bit like Ludo?' etc....From the corner of my eye I noticed a fat kid on a Racer bike a few metres away. I asked my friends who he was, they replied he's new here and he's a bully. Was he now I thought, he definitely looked like one. Chocolate all over his face, a good 3-4 stone weight advantage, a couple of years older than us and a face like a spanked arse. Most likely he got bullied by Kids his own age and thought he could pick on us young ones. Think again fat boy.
I placed my football at my feet, tucked my red t-shirt into my shorts and made sure my velcro on my spiderman trainers were firmly attached. I then shouted ' owh Fat kid you think your brave......how about you try and run me over?". It became like a western show-down, everyone went quite and the gardeners put down their shovels and headed inside. The Fat kid put his feet onto the peddles and with all his might cycled towards me. I turned to my friends and confidently said: " Don't worry he'll stop", with a smug smile. The kid on the Bike was getting uncomfortably close and then.............well I woke up a few secs later with a Racer tyre tread mark on my face!!! The fat kid due to his weight quite literally was able to run right over me, remarkable if you think about. Anyway as I got back up and fixed my velcro on my trainers, I seen shock in my friends face. The two reasons for this was that I had a tyre track tattoo on my face and that the fat kid was crying because I had twisted his wheel. I stumbled across to the fat kid like a 1950's drunk and gasped :" I hope you have learnt a lesson". He got up and ran home crying. My friends thought that I was a bit harsh, all I did was point to my face and explained 'fight your own battles next time'. Funny enough when my mum seen my face she gave me a matching red hand tattoo on my ass!!! Sometimes you just can't please everyone but hey Scotland beat Brazil 10-0...every cloud has a silver lining.